Top 10 reasons the 16th Street Mall is gay:
10. Cops. Mostly eating at Sam's. Which if you want the shits, please eat here.
9. Homeless folks waiting for you to throw away your cup so they can get a cheap refill. Or a cup of free cinnamon milk.
8. Denver doesn't water their trees so it looks like shit all year.
7. The escalator is always broken at the Pavillions.
6. Light Rail engineers sucking dick for coke.
5. People in thick rimmed sunglasses sitting outside The Paramount.
4. Walgreens vagrants stealing combs and Pringles.
3. Ron Zappolo picking his teeth.
2. Mall shuttle homicides and suicides.
1. Old West tourist shops.
