Saturday, July 26, 2008
Denver Police Department (of Revenue)
Denver installed four "red light" cameras recently and most of them are now officially generating revenue. Let's assume that each one of these cameras takes about 100 pictures a day. That's 400 pictures total a day, times $75 a pop, that's $30,000 a day, or $10,950,000 a year.
Automated revenue machines. Cocksuckers.
Automated revenue machines. Cocksuckers.
Friday, July 25, 2008
The journalists I hate
Ron Zappolo, we know that's not your real name, Mr. Edmund Fuerhoffermeier. You pick your teeth in public and it is gross. You are just an uneducated creep with a fucked moustache. You allegedly enjoy getting butt fucked with a corn cob. Allegedly.
Adele Arakawa, some people say Asian, some say Native American, I say bitch. Total bitch. Yea, that was me you glared at from your Porche Cayenne as we passed in the parking garage. You totally suck at everything and your skin is like my 50 year-old cowhide jacket. Smell the glove.
John Ferrugia, I hate you because you're a Ron Zappolo look-alike. Fucking poseur. If I see you picking your teeth I may pee on you.
Lisa Holbrook, you totally have a penis. Female sports anchors are akin to male cheerleaders. You are probably good at what you do but not really because you are all penis, all the time.
And finally, Al Roker. You are a gigantic bag of shit. Your shit got so big you had it sucked out of your body and now you're ready to have all this new shit you accumulated sucked out of you again. It is disturbing to imagine you on the toilet with a bucket of chicken and tacos at 3:00 am -- dripping sweat as you feast upon your destruction. And you are fucking crazy.
Fuck you guys.
Adele Arakawa, some people say Asian, some say Native American, I say bitch. Total bitch. Yea, that was me you glared at from your Porche Cayenne as we passed in the parking garage. You totally suck at everything and your skin is like my 50 year-old cowhide jacket. Smell the glove.
John Ferrugia, I hate you because you're a Ron Zappolo look-alike. Fucking poseur. If I see you picking your teeth I may pee on you.
Lisa Holbrook, you totally have a penis. Female sports anchors are akin to male cheerleaders. You are probably good at what you do but not really because you are all penis, all the time.
And finally, Al Roker. You are a gigantic bag of shit. Your shit got so big you had it sucked out of your body and now you're ready to have all this new shit you accumulated sucked out of you again. It is disturbing to imagine you on the toilet with a bucket of chicken and tacos at 3:00 am -- dripping sweat as you feast upon your destruction. And you are fucking crazy.
Fuck you guys.
The journalists I love
I love you, Campbell Brown. You have a beautiful "frowny" smile. And you are so congenial. I love that.
Soledad O'brien, you are a sassy fox. You have spunk, and are very articulate which makes me want to marry you.
Maria Bartiromo, I want to drink hard with you and talk about the Dow Jones Industrial Average and stare into your eyes until I pass out.
Anderson Cooperberg, you look great in those pinstripe suits and you stick to the point and are really good about keeping people honest. Your sexual preference keeps everyone glued to your show, and that's rad. Keep on keepin' on, and high-fifties to you, Mr. Awesome.
And my favorite, Larry King. You stick your jaw out and look mean sometimes even though we all know you are an obstinately kind Jew. You ask great loaded questions. You would make a great lawyer, I think.
Soledad O'brien, you are a sassy fox. You have spunk, and are very articulate which makes me want to marry you.
Maria Bartiromo, I want to drink hard with you and talk about the Dow Jones Industrial Average and stare into your eyes until I pass out.
Anderson Cooperberg, you look great in those pinstripe suits and you stick to the point and are really good about keeping people honest. Your sexual preference keeps everyone glued to your show, and that's rad. Keep on keepin' on, and high-fifties to you, Mr. Awesome.
And my favorite, Larry King. You stick your jaw out and look mean sometimes even though we all know you are an obstinately kind Jew. You ask great loaded questions. You would make a great lawyer, I think.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Lawrence Welk
I think he dressed well. And I appreciate his show. I love to watch the old couples dance. They also dressed to the nines. Fashion-forward old folks are grande because they're not ready to smell the mop.
That Welk guy wore his watch on his right hand. Fuckin' a. You can't do that in the 70s. Good for him.
I love big chandiliers and sequened dresses and big permed hair and microphones shaped like that Hitachi dildo.
Oh and the hump in his hair was rad, too.
That Welk guy wore his watch on his right hand. Fuckin' a. You can't do that in the 70s. Good for him.
I love big chandiliers and sequened dresses and big permed hair and microphones shaped like that Hitachi dildo.
Oh and the hump in his hair was rad, too.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
I probably hate you
It is sad that my first impression of you will be a bad one, but you are probably shitty.
Wonder how I know? People suck. It's just that plain. You have an agenda, even if it's good, it's bad. You are serving your interests, not mine. So I guess I'm a shitty person, too.
That's cool.
But you're not.
Wonder how I know? People suck. It's just that plain. You have an agenda, even if it's good, it's bad. You are serving your interests, not mine. So I guess I'm a shitty person, too.
That's cool.
But you're not.
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