Soledad O'brien, you are a sassy fox. You have spunk, and are very articulate which makes me want to marry you.
Maria Bartiromo, I want to drink hard with you and talk about the Dow Jones Industrial Average and stare into your eyes until I pass out.
Anderson Cooperberg, you look great in those pinstripe suits and you stick to the point and are really good about keeping people honest. Your sexual preference keeps everyone glued to your show, and that's rad. Keep on keepin' on, and high-fifties to you, Mr. Awesome.
And my favorite, Larry King. You stick your jaw out and look mean sometimes even though we all know you are an obstinately kind Jew. You ask great loaded questions. You would make a great lawyer, I think.
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